deguchi no naku
by hakoirimusume
Summary: my secod fic, and my first Gravi! Yuki gives Shuichi the cold shoulder, leaving him out all alone. Until Ryuichi finds him, that is. How will their encounter go? and what will happen to Shuichi's lovelife? ShuRyu, SHONEN AI!
1. Rapid Hope Loss

**well, here's the first chapter of my first Gravitation fic! w00t! it might take me a while to think of more to write for the next chapter, but (i think) i've got the basic plot all figured out. so you should be expecting the next chapter soon! and for all you Yuki/Shuichi fans out there, don't worry, i'll write a fic for just that couple someday, causeeven ihave to admit, they ARE pretty cute together (but i'm technically a die-hard Ryu/Shu fan XP)  
****and btw, in case you all haven't noticed yet, all the chapter titles for all of my fics have and are going to have song titles. so, who can figure out what band they're by?**

* * *

He was sitting on an empty bench in the park, crying quietly to himself about everything in general, his soft sakura locks swaying with each sob. His huge violet eyes were brimmed with tears that were constantly streaming down his pale skin. Everything in Shuichi Shindo's life was completely falling apart, including his career and his best friendship. And just when it seemed things couldn't get any worse, life went from bad to extreme. When he cried to his lover Eiri Yuki, he gave him the cold shoulder telling him to "fuck off, you annoying little brat." So there he was, trying for all he was worth not to take his own life, walking around the park that held so many memories. The thought of his first encounter with Yuki make him sob even harder, as he fell half-heartedly to his knees. He didn't want anything more than to be held which, surprisingly, he found he was. He stared up into concerned azure eyes, taking a moment before realizing who they belonged to.

Sakuma Ryuichi rocked the small teen back and forth, comforting him the best he could. He whispered soothing words into his ear and, eventually, Shuichi calmed down. He still hung onto the older singers' jacket and wouldn't let go, so Ryuichi carried him out of the park and placed him in the backseat of his car, not bothering to buckle him up. All he wanted to do was get the cold, and by this time sick, lead singer of Bad Luck back to his place to take care of him. He knew how harsh Yuki could be, and he also knew Shuichi would accept any comfort he was given.

By the time they arrived at Ryuichi's house, the younger of the two was fast asleep. So Ryuichi resorted to carrying him again, shifting his slight weight to unlock the door. As they stepped into the darkened room, Shuichi stirred slightly and mumbled something that sounded vaguely like, "Where am I…?" before his body went limp again. The older vocalist smiled at him softly, planning on explaining everything when he awoke again. For the time being, he let the small teen take his bed, more out of his fondness for him then customary politeness. He simply took a pillow and blanket and slept on the couch.

When Ryuichi woke to the soft sunlight hitting his skin, he realized he wasn't alone. Apparently, Shuichi had joined him during the night. He was cuddled up to him in a scared manner, as if he only wanted the older man's protection. He was also half-hanging off the couch. Ryuichi laughed silently at this. The sakura-haired teen never failed to amuse him.

When the older singer moved slightly to see who was next to him, Shuichi woke slowly, blinking sleep away. He couldn't think very clearly -his cold had turned into a slight fever during the night- except for notice the fact that he was lying next to his idol, Sakuma Ryuichi. At this thought, he jumped slightly, concerning the older vocalist. When the older of the two cupped his chin to look him in the eyes, he very nearly melted, getting this glazed-over look. This caused Ryuichi to laugh, this time audibly, at the younger singers' obvious infatuation with him. He wrapped his arms lightly around the slender waist next to him, giving all the comfort that was needed. Shuichi calmed down at this, realizing for he first time that morning why he was there. He snuggled up to the man beside him, tears threatening to fall once again. Ryuichi ran a hand up and down the small spine, making the younger one want to cry even more. He wanted to talk, to tell the older man everything that was happening wrong in his life, but he didn't want to ruin this brief moment of comfort that he rarely ever got from Yuki, if at all. At this moment, in Ryuichi's arms, it seemed nothing could go wrong ever again. And that faerie-tale was all he needed to feel better.

* * *

**i know, i know. it was sooo short. but the next one'll be longer to make up for it, i promise! and now that school's out (hip-hip, HURRAH!) it shouldn't take me as long to update.  
**

**jaa ne!  
Ryu-chan**


	2. 44Caliber Love Letter

**hey, everyone. sorry this one took me so long. at least it's pretty long, right? sigh i really need to get this one moving faster. these chapters don't take that long to write, it's just trying to figure out what should come when, and where kissing scenes should go, and how to write the scenes leading up to them so the whole thing doesn't look rushed... it's all very confusing, trying to work with a brain that runs from thought to thought faster than a child says no to vegies. but i promise the next one'll be jucier! as long as you guys want it to be. i probably wont be doing any major yaoi scenes until VERY later chapters, if at all... so yeah, that's about all for now. enjoy it while you've got it!**

* * *

"Come on, Shuichi! You're gonna be late!" Ryuichi called from the doorway in his usual playful manner. 

Shuichi darted out of the living room and ran right into his idol. This caused a fit of laughter that he joined in on as the older singer helped him off the ground.

"Now come on! You know if you're late again, Tohma'll kill you!"

"And who's fault will that be, Mister Tickle-me-until-I'm-on-the-ground-crying?" the sakura-haired teen retorted sarcastically.

Ryuichi just pouted, arms crossed.

"Alright, alright. I know it's not your fault." He soothed. Ryuichi's face lit up. He grabbed Shuichi's hand and dragged him to his car.

It was as typical a day as any other had been for the past week. Shuichi had temporarily forgotten about his hurt feelings Yuki had caused him. Being with the older singer made him the happiest he'd been in a long time. Not to mention all the nights he got to snuggle with him in his idol's huge four-poster bed.

* * *

When work was over, Ryuichi drove Shuichi to the park and they played until nightfall. By that time, they were both exhausted, so they decided to go home and go straight to bed after a little snack. 

Shuichi walked into the room he was sharing with Ryuichi to find him curled up under the covers with a mug of hot chocolate, another mug waiting for him on the nightstand next to the bed. He smiled and strode over to the bed, shedding his clothes down to his boxers as he went, blushing despite himself. He picked up the cup gingerly, feeling it's heat on his palms, and crawled in next to his idol.

Ryuichi made funny faces while Shuichi tried to drink, and he did the same to the older singer while he tried to take a sip of the hot liquid. It soon turned into a game to see who could finish drinking theirs first, without spilling it all over the blankets. Ryuichi won, of course, being the master of games. But the younger one didn't mind, it was all very fun. And now, he took the mug from his friend and carried them both to the kitchen and put them in the sink. The older singer followed.

When Shuichi turned around, he was nearly pressed up against his idol, who was staring into his eyes with a seriousness Shuichi only knew at concerts. He saw the other man leaning down towards him, and he could feel arms being wrapped lightly around his waist, but it all happened so hypnotizingly slow he couldn't seem to move. Not that he really wanted to. Soft lips met his and his eyes fluttered shut. He wrapped his arms around the older man's neck, smiling into the light kiss. He prepared to deepenit when the lips pulled away from his, and he opened his eyes to find the playful Ryuichi back again. He smiled widely, his arms still around his idol's neck, faintly realizing one hand had traveled up and was tangling itself in the soft greenish locks. The older man leaned down and pecked Shuichi on the lips before dragging him back down the hall to bed with a huge grin.

* * *

The next day at work, Shuichi couldn't get the strange but cute event out of his mind. Last night, Ryuichi had cuddled with him all through the night, but he never made any other drastic moves, besides tickling him until he woke up in the morning. He hadn't done anything else, and neither had Shuichi, not knowing what he could've done anyway. He didn't yet know how to tell when the serious Ryuichi would come out again, and when the playful Ryuichi would return. The only thing he remembered that could change him was music, just when he was going on-stage. But otherwise, it was like a guessing game he was no good at. 

And then came his feelings. Did he still love Yuki, even after he deserted him like that? He didn't think so, but he could never be sure until he saw him again. Chances are he'd turn into a big Shuichi puddle as soon as he laid his eyes on him, and that'd do him no good.

But what about Ryuichi? He had taken him in, fed him, clothed him(figuratively and literally giggles), and taken care of him every other way he needed. He wasn't doing it out of his kindness to everyone, he was doing because he liked him. He liked Shuichi, he had slept with him, he had made him hot chocolate and played with him. He had kissed him, right? Didn't all that mean something? Or was he just having fun, just fooling around? Did he think it all a game?

No. He had been serious when they kissed. He'd been as serious as if he were on stage singing Sleepless Beauty. He hadn't been playing around at all then.

Then what about Shuichi? What did he feel? How did he think of Ryuichi? Maybe he should talk to him. Maybe he should get all these thoughts sorted out. Tonight, he'd ask Ryuichi tonight. He'd play some of Nittle Grasper's music and hope that would get him serious again. And then he'd confront both of their feelings. He'd have to do it all tonight. Yuki could wait.

But for now, he'd have to put all his feelings aside and get started on some new lyrics. Partly because that was the reason he was there, and partly because Hiroshi was waving his hands in front of his face.

"Hellooooo? Anybody home?" Hiro was shouting in his ear.

"Aaaiii! Yeah, I'm here, I'm here! Gomen, just thinking about something."

"Well, that something must be pretty deep, cause your face was all scrunched up in thought. And you couldn't hear a word we said." Hiro chuckled, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "Now come on, we need some new lyrics, and pronto!"

Shuichi sat down on a couch with a pencil and a pad of paper. He thought of what the song should be about. Ryuichi kept entering his thoughts. So he decided to write a song about confusion, giddiness, mixed signals, and love. Then he thought of Yuki's harsh words once again. The song would also incorporate betrayal. It was going to come out slowly, and it was going to end up so deep, no one would understand the true meaning. No one but him, and maybe someone else. Then _yet_ another thought occurred to him. He could let Ryuichi listen to it, or rather insist on him hearing it, so it might be obvious that it'd be for a reason. Then maybe Ryuichi would get the hint, and… No. It wouldn't work. At least he didn't think it'd really work. But it was still worth a try.

Shuichi started scribbling furiously, lost in his own world once again.

* * *

**alright then, that's it for now! in case some of you have NO CLUE what any(or just this one )japanese words are, "gomen" means "sorry". it's basically short for "gomen nasai", which means the same thing but in a more formal manner.  
well, for those of you waiting for the next chappie of my DNAngel fic, it should be out within the next few days. i hope, at least. >.0 as long as i don't have any more time restraints on my compy time, i'll be fine.  
doomo arigato gozaimasu, all of your reviews make me SOOOO ureshii! they really make me wanna write more hint, hint  
jaa ne,  
Ryu-chan**


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